Monday, December 17, 2007

Mckinley

*mouse *mick *kinley *kins *minky *mckivey zmekis* "mahinli"
Jan 31, 1999- Dec 17, 2007


Most the time my posts are happy little celebrations of life occurrences. I guess everyone would love for everything to be okay all the time but as we all know sometimes it isn't. Today my dog, Mckinley died, it was very unexpected and shocking and I am having a very hard time with it. I spent Sunday taking pictures of her trying to get her to tilt her head, her signature pose, for personalized dog ornaments I ordered for my two dogs, my brothers dog and my parents dog. She passed away at 4:00 am and was buried in my parents garden with all of the other animals we have grown up with in this house for 29 years; Our cats Kari and Cha Cha and dogs Sunshine and Boone. Taylor told me he found a worm to protect her and that she was wrapped in a blanket so the angels would take her up to heaven. He has been telling me all day that Jesus has lots of leashes and he will take her on walks and feed her. He hasn't even cried he is just worried about me, my sweet boy.

I don't remember the last time I felt so sad, cried so much, my heart actually hurts..... I decided to write about her now, even though my emotions are raw because she meant so much to me and my family. It is hard to think of people reading this, thinking "it is only a dog", she was surely not only a dog to us. E and I picked out Mckinley two months before our wedding. She was the lightest, most blue eyed most beautiful Weimaraner you've ever seen. She proved to be quite a challenge, especially those first few years. She suffered from extreme separation anxiety and almost ate the little house we rented. When we bought our own house we would come home to find various items pulled from the sink (we had no dishwasher): tupperware, pots, dishes and frequently- knives! We tried to keep her in a kennel but she ate herself out of the plastic one and somehow flattened the metal crate even when reinforced with wire. But through all of her naughtiness she was the sweetest dog you've ever seen, No one was more happy to see us. She loved life this dog, always so happy. She had more energy than any living thing and would bounce like Tigger when she was excited. She could hear E's old CJ7 Jeep a full two minutes before it entered our street and she would start crying and yelping with anticipation. It was so hard to get angry with her when all she wanted in the world was to be in your presence, just wanting to be loved and loving you back unconditionally. When I suffered my two miscarriages, E just knew to pick her up and put her on my tummy. She would lay on my chest and I would stroke her soft, long velvet ears. I'd spend countless hours grieving our loss just reading books or watching TV and she was there with me. When we finally did bring our baby home she became a second mommy. When Taylor would cry she would jump up tilt her head at me and make me follow her to his bedroom.

One of the hardest parts of moving to San Diego was having to make the decision to give my parents "temporary custody" of our two dogs. We couldn't rent with two large dogs and I would be unable to fly home without boarding her, an expense we couldn't afford. My saintly parents offered to take her even though it would cost them a carpet ( I forgot to mention she had a bladder control problem). They had already been sharing custody of her for a few years because her separation anxiety wasn't as bad when she was over playing with their two dogs. So for the past four years she along with our other dog Simba have been doted on by my parents who treat them like their children. They go for walks and trips to the dog park, camping in the desert, special treats and love, lots of love. When I come to visit I am met with a slightly irritated Mckinley thinking "why does she have to bring these two kids to harass me". I didn't know that she would never make it back to our house. For those of you who are dog lovers you know that losing a pet is like losing a member of your family.

*my puppy





* the inseparable simba and mckinley



*by Taylor's side



*sleeping by me when I was sick when pregnant with Halle



* Halle loves her doggies



* Halle's partner in crime!



*2 weeks ago at her favorite place in this world


It is funny but I just can't imagine my life without this dog. She has brought so many highs and forgivable lows to us. It is hard with a beloved pet, there is no funeral, no closure. I posted these pictures as a little tribute to her, my favorites are at home and I will be posting more pictures and stories of this unforgettable little force for a long time. I miss you already Mick....

11 comments:

Natalie | Make Today Great said...

Oh girl, I am right there with you. I go home to see my little puggie Missy that I've had since I was 12. She's getting old now and I don't want to imagine life with out her. Ever.
At least you were there to spend her last days with her -- I'm sure she would've liked that. You wouldn't have wanted to get a call to San Diego with the news.

Carin said...

My heart is sick for you. She is such a beautiful dog- and family member. I am so glad you were there.
((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Jen, I am so sorry for you loss. That is good that you are remembering all the great times you had with her. Just hang in there. Your great memories of her will never leave you! Thank you for sharing.... I am sure it wasn't easy writing. Love you!

Unknown said...

Oh Jen, I am so sorry - you made me cry and I don't even own a dog! I am glad you got to be there with her in her final days.

{Le Petit Poulet} said...

Oh my heart just aches for you. I too am a dog lover, dogs are not just pets in our family...they are brothers and sisters and children. Just reading your post I am going to go and sit and cuddle my dog and think of you and McKinley. She was lucky to have such a loving family and she'll always be with you :)

Susan

Anonymous said...

Jen,
So sorry to hear about Mick. I know that we have really loved to see and play with her too. She was a great dog and will be missed by many!
Nicole

Anonymous said...

Sending big hugs your way. I am so sorry for your heartache. He was beautiful.

KESLER KREW...Cami said...

That is such a loss...I am so sorry- I know how much you guys luved your dogs and had such a hard time leaving them when you moved to SD. I'm glad you guys were in UT when you were. Sad :( Luv Cami

Katie said...

I am so sorry Jen! I'm glad you were there. It's horrible losing a friend like that.

Taralee said...

I'm so sorry and shocked. All of us in California will be thinking of you guys and sending hugs and good thoughts. What a bitter sweet blessing to see her one last time during her final days. Thank God for Taylor, he sounds like such an avid supporter of his Mommy.

*J*E*N* said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words, they have helped me more than you know!

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